Sepia-tone Loving

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I'm a soul-consuming individual. Passion extends to immense measures through my initiation. I write with reason. Occasionally, I make logic, but it's rare to become on a stable comprehensive level with me for I am naturally unpredictable. I am big on spontaneity and I get a radiant kick out of adventure. I love tremendously. I don't expect to become famous but I do have high standards when assumed to encounter someone fresh. I choose whom I want to stay and assist me in living and all that luxurious privileges. Not the girl next door. I'm not ordinary, not amazing.
	04 May 2011, 16:00 he stands at almost six feet tall causing me to tiptoe when we kiss. i would leap into his long, seemingly fragile arms for bear hugs that would lead to us spinning around in circles. i miss the rush the spinning would produce and the dizziness that came after. he kisses my hand like a prince would do a princess with every intention to make me feel like royalty. he would comment on how my hair scent would change depending on what shampoo i would use; sometimes i’d carry a marshmallow scent, other times ‘berries’ or ‘candy’. little things, like such, create a butterfly effect in my tummy, which would frequently send feel-good chills down my spine. he traces my skin as some concept of memorizing me in the most non-sexual interpretation. i can still feel the ‘magic’ of his touch. we wouldn’t even have to be in the slightest way physical for me to feel this magic. in all ways possible, verbally and mentally, he has this tremendous impact on me. he has transformed into this amazing man that i cannot even phrase how proud i feel for his success as a not only as a person but as a united states marine. he is quite wonderful, he always has been actually. from calling people “dude” to now referring to someone as “sir” or “ma’am” emits such indescribable amusement. i admire his flaws and imperfections though there isn’t much to marvel on in this area because he’s the perfect (though i know is non-existent) being; he is still the most soul-consuming individual in my world. i remember deeming him my favorite person, my everything. he never ceases to amuse me. whether it being a lame joke or just self-expression in his natural state. he’s this high-spirited person who relishes to finding new fields to conquer both in video games and daily life. with no needed disguises, the goodness of his soul has plagued me with a continuous inspirational streak. often times people become mad. mad like spontaneous combustion mad to the extent where one has emotions of insanity, desire, love, and temptation and passion morphed into one bottle of vibrance. one indulges compassion and disseminates captivity among others. one trusts himself/herself to experience anything only this whole fiasco is something new to your usuals. i have gone through this breeze of excitement. potential causes may be uttered in a syllable or two, but to me, it’s because of you. my greatest fear in life has been and will always be losing you. you’re essential to my life; needed as much as food and water. you are my constant. you are my who, what, when, and why. you are my infinite. you are what i most desire, what i most need in life. you are the cure to any multitude of ills i may have. you’re the fuel to my progression. you love me and i love thee. 8 HOURS AGO 01 May 2011, 22:26 Stranger than strange; a possible answer to end all this confusion Here’s a probable fatal attempt to prove that my mind is intact with the details of my main source of happiness. What seems to appear as sleepless activity, in that non-hollow area of intellect. I have to admit — I don’t know what goes on in there anymore except the given agendas by higher authority. We exchange “nothing” in this level of measured sanity. Literally. Well, most of the time. Physical attributes will lead to deeper insight. Maybe. Let’s experiment, shall we? I’ll begin with the mysterious, round and dark brown organs of sight. I still can feel your silent glares. Your perceptual machinery was neither too enclosed but it was nor too inviting; always slightly both. The way you’d say so much with your eyes. Yes, I have been describing your eyes since mentioning ‘mystery’. Back to the emotions your eyes would emit: sometimes it’d request from me. Other times I’d think they were signs of wonder, confusion, but mostly admiration. As if they were in disbelief that I craved to be their main attraction. Blink once, blink twice; I’m still here for their entertainment and I hope your eyes are no longer in disbelief. Taste the soft temptation. A pair of tangible delight. Sometimes spread with a layer of liquid, other times a dry texture would stick, but I’d always be able to fix that. With my every intention to kiss you, your lips would immediately respond with more than I had bargained for. This organ I proceed to introduce was not easy to befriend. It had its guard up all the time and I wasn’t sure how to access it. I put up a strong fight for its acceptance but in the end, I was the one left standing with all the energy I initially thought I needed. I remember your heart; beating slowly then fast and slowly again. I could feel the vibrations it would produce when I lay peacefully on your chest. Your heart beats a little bit more when I’m around, theoretically speaking. But all in all, I’m just glad its partially if not absolutely mine. I’m skipping the metaphors for these concrete blessings. Your hands, the way they would hold me to the extent of showing unyielding appreciation and respect for me. I love how safe I’d feel when our fingers intertwined. I’m beginning to emote mixed feelings again. I am so happy that we were able to create so much memories together, but sad that memories are only what I feel we have. Momentarily at least. I described your brain, your eyes, your heart, and your hands. The four main things I miss about you at this very moment in time. I miss all of you though. Just in case you needed to be reminded. I miss the physicalities but mostly, everything in the inside. Knowing what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling, the special cases of inner flow that craves for me. I’m all about the wordplay right now but realistically, it only takes a few statements, so I’ll dumb it down in the most genuine way: I feel that in our relationship, love isn’t enough. Don’t get me wrong. Love is powerful, love is significant and undoubtedly a necessity. But you know what makes love even more unconditional and wonderful? Happiness. Happiness in its verbal and touchable forms. And quite frankly, I am, with all my will and pleasure, overjoyed to say that you are still my main source of happiness; the beholder of my heart and my inspiration to love. I am happy, I am in love with you. Always have been, always will be.