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30 March 2011, 07:10
Midnight Revelation
Being a Military SO has its advantages and its disadvantages—
You provide brilliant advice to others entering long distance relationships and often display much more strength when doing so. You possess feelings of whole-bigheartedness and bursts of joy. Of course, these feelings are only temporary and when your day progresses and you wind up at home, you sense feelings of desperation and loneliness. These feelings stay put longer than the temporary feelings and suddenly you decide to let out your explosion of pains. The anger and misery held hostage in the pit of darkness travels only in one direction — out. Out into your pillows through an abundance of tear bubbles and droplets. You feel as if you’ve been neglected and suffering from the fear of abandonment. But then a friend whose just like you, offers potential manners of pick-me-ups and you slowly start to build the courage to regain strength. You remember to have your chin up, head high, and smile as sincerely as possible.
You immediately grab any opportunity to talk to your soldier, marine, sailor, or whomever your SO is and you gradually increase your tendency to smile genuinely and provide valid outbreaks of happiness. These positive feelings are endlessly temporary and you feel the little warps of bad weather clouding your mind once again. You feel ignored, you feel as if you’re uncared for, and you deeply want out. But your inner conscious and partial subconscious allow you to defend your soul’s wants and you merely enter this stage of consistent pushing forward and faith.
Your conversation ends and picks up where it left off the day before. This cycle repeats. It is never-ending. You never get used to feeling happy when your main source of happiness is thousands of miles away. You never grasp the ability to obtain pure, overflowing happiness. And your joy is now only based solely on failed attempts. Love, however, increases each day. Love is powerful. Love knows no distance. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Love prevails.
03 March 2011, 04:26
PUZZLED
i'm amused at how i often give advice, but hardly ever take my own advice. it's a casualty to perform in this manner, but i'm approaching the reasons why i don't take my own advice. i continuously tell people to never settle for less because there are endless possibilities. the amount of options when conjuring a result is infinite. there are probably only a few directions you may take: left, right, forward, backward, north, south, east, or west. i choose to build a slope. rising and shifting depending on the variables given and the variables acting as solutions.
i've been wearing a wristband since october of last year. it's more than just a wristband to me. without it, i feel clothe-less. it started to fall apart already and there's only so much i can do to repair it, but eventually, it'll give in and completely shred to non-repairable pieces. i don't feel like explaining how it looks, where i retrieved it, or what significance it has to my life. i'm just slowly realizing that i don't need it to feel the way i do when i wear it. it's some psychological game i've been participating in. but for now, i'm going to wear it until it wears out.
the whole jumbo about advice-taking -- well it's come down to this: finally settling into the fact that you're barely ever going to be around. and when you are around, time will rapidly resume and then you'll be gone again. but for what it's worth, knowing like genuinely knowing how big of a role i play in your life, it's enough for me to stick around. i'm settling. there are no more options for this matter. you're the final stage and initial chapter. i'm like an unfinished puzzle and you're all my missing pieces.
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I'm a soul-consuming individual. Passion extends to immense measures through my initiation. I write with reason. Occasionally, I make logic, but it's rare to become on a stable comprehensive level with me for I am naturally unpredictable. I am big on spontaneity and I get a radiant kick out of adventure. I love tremendously. I don't expect to become famous but I do have high standards when assumed to encounter someone fresh. I choose whom I want to stay and assist me in living and all that luxurious privileges. Not the girl next door. I'm not ordinary, not amazing.