Sepia-tone Loving

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I'm a soul-consuming individual. Passion extends to immense measures through my initiation. I write with reason. Occasionally, I make logic, but it's rare to become on a stable comprehensive level with me for I am naturally unpredictable. I am big on spontaneity and I get a radiant kick out of adventure. I love tremendously. I don't expect to become famous but I do have high standards when assumed to encounter someone fresh. I choose whom I want to stay and assist me in living and all that luxurious privileges. Not the girl next door. I'm not ordinary, not amazing.
	01 October 2010, 19:25 T minus 246+ hours The last time I felt like my heart was in a stampede was probably last year and it certainly hurts a lot to revisit this pain. And it is not heartbreak but literal pain considering I underwent heart surgery. Sometimes I think the pain is caused maybe by laughter, other times by suffocation, but today I don't know what it is caused by. Maybe it really is dividing itself into parts, each part resembling some soul-consuming thing I am invovled in. Maybe the excessive heartbeats will soon explode and my valves into portions I will have to donate since the only things that normally come out of explosions are bits and remnants of its original content. I. DO. NOT. KNOW. What I do know is that today is another day marked off my calendar of events, which will soon lead to my 6, 261.17 mile distance from you. I calculated that when the countdown only ready forty-nine days. Now, it's less than nine days and then poof. You're gone. No reliable communication. Just thoughts and prayers. I can't say I won't miss you because that's a given. I keep thinking how you have become such a big deal more than before and how my life is going to experience massive changes when you depart. These are some things that will be affected undoubtedly: (1) You will not be here to say good night and this usually cues my time to be able to sleep, knowing you are in bed also, about to shut your eyes and have ridiculous war zone dreams. (2) You will not be here to greet me good morning. Who's first thought will be of me? No one else besides you that I know of. I have good mornings because of your greetings. (3) Friday night family dinners will not be the same without you. The seat next to me will be empty. (4) I will spontaneously combust probably about six times a day because whenever I have a conflicting issue, you are the first person I tell and you give me advice that soothes my mood. (5) Who am I supposed to exchange thoughts with at any given time of day? (6) Who will constantly tell me that "everything's going to be okay." (7) My clothes will lose its scent of you. (8) I will have no reason to have fun. (9) No one will tell me I am beautiful at the most unexpected times. (10) No one to teach me how to play Black Ops when it comes out. and more little things that mean a great deal to ME. So I know life would seem to suck only at first, but something will always trigger me to think of you. Whether it be taco bell or the smell of Dial for Men. Something will always remind me of you regardless of what the object is. Everything can relate to you; can relate to us. So maybe my days won't always be filled with sad faces and sorrow, but I know that most of them will. I'll not only cry for you every night, but I will do things that make me feel the way I feel when I am with you. I'll watch the retarded videos we make and look at the pictures we took. I'll reminisce all day, every day. Even if I am reading a book in the library, it is a guarantee that a thought of you will come up. Who will offer to stay up with me and help me study for exams? I won't let you down though. I'll try my best to maintain and level up my grades. Who will I share pinky promises with? Pinky promises worth keeping. Who will I hold hands with? Embracing affection and love each time our hands touch. Who will correct my sentences and words and provide me with something new to learn everyday? I am going to get sick a lot. It is already starting. Watery eyes and the sniffles. Soon I will have fevers and I will participate in a loss of appetite. Whenever I am sad though, I will think of your favorite memory of us. I walked down to the dangerous zone of strong waves and you slowly followed. You looked at me in a way so sincere that I knew that I could trust my heart with you. Even if that sounds cheesy. We were so calm and collected together, playing with the water and sharing laughs with each other. This memory will trigger a smile upon my face and I will be reminded that this isn't goodbye. It's just a see you soon, Brandon Joseph, My Marine. (: All my love, Ione Skye Llagas