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02 September 2010, 07:54
Afterall, we're only human
I am at a point in life where everything seems so confusing. My mood changes with the weather and being situated here on the island of Guam, that involves consistent change by the hour. I have been feeling sick lately and some of my symptoms range from the sniffles, body aches, urges to throw up, countless spins of migraines, and so forth. And get this, I am back to my misfortune of insomniac symptoms. See what I mean by confusing?
I recently learned in my hour and fifty minute english class that writing for writing eases the mind and settles some of the indecision a person is experiencing. So if you notice me trail off to a different subject after every two or three sentences, my recent technique on writing for writing is roughly being practiced. I also acquired knowledge on being open to the endless amount of ideas a brainstorming process can produce. It's rather relieving. Letting so much information in and much experience out on paper.
In just thirty eight days, my constant will depart over six thousand miles away. No, I'm not trying to imply that it'll be the end of the world for me. I'm just putting it out there that a part of me will fill empty for awhile. Everyday I feel like I am being stripped from the existing comfort I value most in life. It may just be my confusion kicking in again because confusion has been the main conflict in my mind and body thus far, but I guess I don't really know with certainty.
Today was the JFKHS Official Groundbreaking! Finally. After two years of suffering, exhaustion, and waiting, the old building withholding thousands of memories will be destructed in a few weeks, months maybe. But action has finally taken its toll. I was a speaker. AGAIN. Honestly, you'd think I adapt so easily with public speaking, but there I stood less than four inches away from the podium in front of hundreds of people, voice trembling and moving rapidly, hands unsteady and nearly soaking my paper, I don't even want to relive that moment for at least a few years. It's a victory for JFKHS. The high school I am proud to be assoicated with. It's historically impacted my heart.
I get this happy go lucky notion when I meet someone who admits that he or she envies our seemingly amazing relationship. It's not like I want to burst their bubbles by saying we have problems almost every other day and majority of the time angrily confess we're getting tired of each other. We're so stubborn. So in love it's ridiculous. We're almost at our three hundred and sixty fifth day mark. I'm not surprised. We're practically stuck with each other regardless of our upcoming life-changing events. I'm that sure. Aren't you at least the slightest concerned about what's going to happen? Well, rhetorical question. You're not. You live philosophically by living with whatever occurs first.
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I'm a soul-consuming individual. Passion extends to immense measures through my initiation. I write with reason. Occasionally, I make logic, but it's rare to become on a stable comprehensive level with me for I am naturally unpredictable. I am big on spontaneity and I get a radiant kick out of adventure. I love tremendously. I don't expect to become famous but I do have high standards when assumed to encounter someone fresh. I choose whom I want to stay and assist me in living and all that luxurious privileges. Not the girl next door. I'm not ordinary, not amazing.