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26 February 2010, 06:59
Perserverance
Today was bad. Seriously devastating, violent, crucial, bad. To the point where you feel like you're hanging on a thread beyond the edge you didn't intentionally plan to fall over. "You're better off, I know this for sure." That was all that was declared. Basically, I lost everything. From sunrise to sunset, I was prone to misfortune. A morning of forsaken bad luck. I was a shoo-in practically for a tearshed. You walked past me with no sign of subtlety. No gesture of happiness. No affection. Emotionless I stood and pursued the acquired path to the agenda I am daily destined for: work. I suppressed my feelings and succeeded in appearing calm and collected. I waited for the afternoon. I hoped for an hour of reassurance and explanation. I saw you again and you almost thought you could avoid me when I got ahold of your attention, you couldn't even face me. I was some archenemy now. I felt absolutely painstakingly hurt. The fact that you couldn't even look at me made me hate myself even more than I did prior to the morning ride. I became hopeless. Almost gave up, but I perservered. I prayed for the best. The reoccuring outcome we frequently encounter. The strength we possess when we overcome these struggles. Sun set around six and I still saw no sign of assumed love or affection. Not even a single form of communication. I was immured; between four white walls of an imaginary pattern of words. The words misery, misfortune, tiresome boldly repeated all over them. I needed to talk to you. I needed to see you. To be on good terms with you.
Two hours to the brink of a new day and I was merely about sixty-eight feet to giving up. To forgetting everything and to releasing my emotions once and for all. The deafening silence was interrupted by the very steps of your chasing self. One gulp and there we stood, releasing our pain. A slide of every moment we spent together ran through my mind. I could feel the blood toil near my heart and my chest possessed an imaginary brick weighing a ton; pounding on my nerves. We couldn't speak, just embrace the very essence of each other. The tightening grew stronger and we still stood with the exemption. I could feel the water drip from our faces. I could taste the savorless saliva. All I could think about is where do I go from here?
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I'm a soul-consuming individual. Passion extends to immense measures through my initiation. I write with reason. Occasionally, I make logic, but it's rare to become on a stable comprehensive level with me for I am naturally unpredictable. I am big on spontaneity and I get a radiant kick out of adventure. I love tremendously. I don't expect to become famous but I do have high standards when assumed to encounter someone fresh. I choose whom I want to stay and assist me in living and all that luxurious privileges. Not the girl next door. I'm not ordinary, not amazing.