Sepia-tone Loving

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I'm a soul-consuming individual. Passion extends to immense measures through my initiation. I write with reason. Occasionally, I make logic, but it's rare to become on a stable comprehensive level with me for I am naturally unpredictable. I am big on spontaneity and I get a radiant kick out of adventure. I love tremendously. I don't expect to become famous but I do have high standards when assumed to encounter someone fresh. I choose whom I want to stay and assist me in living and all that luxurious privileges. Not the girl next door. I'm not ordinary, not amazing.
	25 June 2009, 07:39 Victory and Faith (06/25,26) I am not going to lie. I had a feeling something good was going to occur on this sunny day. Not only did I had wishful thinking and positive insights, I had my fellow faithful comrades. Familiar face or not, we were one. I could still hear the cautious roaring of the two different, but the very alike crowds. We were one. From crucial "HONK IT" to persuasive phrases like "BRING US HOME" or "2,300 reasons why you should decide" -- we accomplished a nearly impossible. I always thought rallies were just time consumers, time wasted and always useless. But that specific, impressive rally was not just a rally. It was a gathering. I deem gathering to be a more appropriate term. It only took merely three days to assume the success of this event. People were necessities. Our voices were being heard from the time our home was confirmed condemned, which was 391 days ago, and to this very day. We will stop at nothing until we see more than written documents, hear more than verbal promises. We want a taste of those words, a feel of those promises, a vision of the almost unimaginable happiness in our home where hearts have been and will always be. I used to think false hope was better than no hope, but you know what? I have supporting evidence to say that faith builds on hope and our hope, our faith brought us somewhere. At the bottom line of today's conclusion, we are able to say we've scored a touchdown, received a strike, reached our goal, and now all we have to do is assume the success and keep in mind that our temporary can never be the permanent. We will prevent that from happening like we've been doing so for the past three hundred and ninety-one days. I have realized that revealing the soul within can be deadly. I tend to learn a lot; with every experience I encounter, every obstacle I overcome, and every goal I achieve. One of the things I have learned over the past few weeks is that sometimes the only person you have to believe in is yourself. Then after discovering you've succeeded at that, you can move on to whatever it is you are chasing. Jealousy can get the best of us and no matter the cirumstance, if you believe you have done all you could have, you are the greatest person you must think of. Silence the violence, unravel the webs and keep striving. Don't just strive, thrive and you will get where you want to be, what you wanted. Sometimes sophistication is second best. Emotions can bring you places you never imagined you would be. Take a stance and hold your head up high. Chin up for we may all be winners in the end. Good and evil must always be balanced. You can't have it one way without having it both ways. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. John Norman Sarmiento's "Seance for yesterday" And keep in mind that there will always be more than one person with the same views as you with a different interpretation of it... 20 June 2009, 04:41 Remind me why Do you ever find yourself running out of things to say? Or maybe you have imagined losing your sense of sight and scent? Doesn't it kill you to see a familiar face; one whose name you do not remember? Why does it bother us so much that the world works the way it works? Since when do we question every single show without prior knowledge on it? How do we go on when we lose the ones we love and care about most? Who do we turn to when it seems like everyone turns out to be untrue and unreliable in your greatest times of need? Time plays a big part in our everyday lives. Can you recall a plan without me? I can assure you that you were not a part of mine. I had everything planned out from during to after high school: who I dated, where I went, what to do and what not to do. You were never a part of my plan and I'm positive I was not a part of yours. But you see, you came into my life as significantly I came into yours. I didn't have to incorporate you into my plan. I didn't have to be adjusted to yours. I don't know if it's the same cycle you went through, but after along came thee, my plan maybe skipped a few steps and I changed my course. You see, my plan didn't have to struggle to fit you into it because you apparently became the plan. You became the plan that I didn't originally have. You are the pending future and of course the blessed present and partially my past. We never miss a second of right or wrong decisions. We sometimes run out of things to say simply because of decision-making itself. We lose our sense of sight and scent occasionally to replenish our souls of the burdened ones. It nearly to none kills us to forget a familiar face, but humiliates us even more after. The world works the way it works because well we do not know the answer to that even after all the questions. We question everything from double stuffed oreos to robotics because it's in human nature to be curious. We go on when we lose the ones we love by taking each day at a time. Mourning period may last forever, but the choice is yours to fix that. We can only trust ourselves. Time... well time is not there to be wasted. I've learned that to fully repair something, you must dismantle everything and begin there. You can't keep placing a band-aid on non-repairable things because band-aids aren't endlessly bind-guaranteed. 06 June 2009, 07:49 Anonymity and Introspection So I come across this old saying, "Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you." As juvenile as that may sound, it deliberately forced unnecessary images in my head, eventually coinciding pain and remorse. Words are all I have if not the oblivious strength. Who could, including the world, slip pass sacrifice and self-preservation in one sunny day? I would have thought, metaphorically speaking, taking a bullet for someone, a stranger was deemed worthwhile and just plain frightening enough. Words are powerful regardless the multiple meanings of a single syllable word. Words are but a step to action or movement for that matter. Words are harmless but hurtful to safely say. But this isn't just about words because that'd be a too complex topic. This is about sacrifice and self-preservation. Sacrifice feeding on feelings and longterm promises, benefits. Sacrifice for freedom. Sacrifice only leaves you at the end of one road resulting confusion or regret. He paused for one brief moment to take in the soothing pain. Who would've imagined pain could be such a blessing in the midst of feeling rejected and left with no other options. "For you." He had devoted all he lived with, lived for, for a girl with nothing but selfishness as a favorable reward. Two kinds of selfishness: for her and for them. She only endured sympathy for other beings for the sake of her lost soul. When she was only a toddler, it was taken from her. Her dignity was maybe something she'd been left with. She was selfish for them; for their love to exist. She didn't want anyone else nor did she want anyone else for him. As she pushed him away, she'd pull herself only twice as attached to him. Self-preservation was only brought upon her when she had realized her instant devotion to just his happiness, his needs. Nothing could divide the similarities with the differences. They were just too even, too balanced to be tampered with if anything. Self-preservation and sacrifice. You debate on that.